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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

How do girls get pregnant?

A man and a woman can conceive a baby when a sperm from a man joins up with an egg from a woman. Sperm are produced inside a man's testicles and ejaculated when he is sexually aroused. After a woman starts having her period, her body may release an egg every month (ovulation). If sperm are released inside a woman's vagina or even near her vagina, it can make its way into the woman's body and travel from the vagina into the uterus and fallopian tubes. When the sperm and the egg join in the fallopian tube, the fertilized egg travels to the uterus and attaches itself to the wall of the uterus where a baby will grow for approximately nine months.

Can I get pregnant the first time I have sex?
Yes. Once a girl starts having periods and producing eggs, she can become pregnant if she has sex.
What is an STD and how do you get one?
STD stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease. These are contagious diseases that are passed from one person to another during sexual activity (i.e. oral, vaginal and anal intercourse and genital to genital contact without penetration). STDs are caused by protozoa, bacteria or viruses. Many STDs such as herpes and HIV cannot be cured. For more information, refer to our STD Fact Sheets.
Do condoms prevent pregnancy and STDs?
Condoms are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and STDs. Condom failure rates are higher for adolescents than adults. "Failing" refers to leaks, breaks, and incorrect or inconsistent use. Also, condoms provide little or no protection from genital herpes, chlamydia, and human papillomavirus, (HPV). The only way to be 100% protected from unwanted pregnancy and STDs is for both partners to abstain from sexual activity until marriage.
When is it okay to have sex?
The best time to have sex is when you are married. And, when you are physically, emotionally and financially prepared to handle all the outcomes of a sexual relationship, such as having a child. By practicing abstinence until marriage, you do not have to worry about out-of-wedlock pregnancy, STDs and the other consequences of having sex.
How can I tell my boyfriend/girlfriend that I don't want to have sex?
It is a good idea to discuss what your sexual boundaries from the very start and let your expectations for the relationship be known upfront. The ability to state your feelings is the key to open communication about the things that really matter to you, like not having sex right now. It is also a good idea to avoid being in situations that can easily lead to sex, such as being alone together. If your partner is unwilling to honor your wishes to remain abstinent, you may choose to end the relationship right now. Respect for each other's wishes is what relationships should be built upon. If that is not there, find someone else to be with who agrees with your standards and respects you. Be secure in knowing what is best for you and don't compromise that for anyone!
How do I know if someone has an STD?
There is no "fool proof way to know if someone has an STD. Many STDs do not show symptoms you can see at all or until months and even years later. A person may not be aware that they have a disease and are spreading it to others unknowingly.
What do I do if I think I may have an STD?
If you suspect that you may have an STD, you should stop having sex to avoid spreading the disease to others. Then you should go see your doctor (or to a health clinic) and ask to be tested for STDs. Your doctor will determine treatment if needed. Look at our STD chart to help identify symptoms. If you are sexually active, you should get tested for STDs even if you use condoms. Diseases such as HPV and herpes can be spread even when using condoms
Are you saying that sex is bad?
No! Sex is not bad, but it is an activity meant for marriage with serious responsibilities attached to it. Having sex as a teen can have some negative effects on your emotional well being as well as your physical health. Sex with someone who is committed to you for the rest of your life is a wonderful thing and is meant to be enjoyed. Bottom line is that sex is best saved for marriage to avoid problems that come from having sex too early.
Is there such a thing as "safe sex" (also referred to as "safer sex" or "protected sex")?
In a word, no. Condoms and other contraceptives are not 100% effective in preventing pregnancy or STDs. In fact, condoms have the highest failure rate of any birth control method. Condoms must be used consistently and correctly every time and even then, they are not foolproof. They leak, slip off, break and can have defects that cause failure. Some STDs are spread because a condom does not cover the entire genital area that can be affected by STDs. Condoms have been proven to greatly reduce the risk of HIV/AIDS if used every time consistently and correctly. Condoms provide some limited protection for STDs such as herpes, gonorrhea, and chlamydia, but provide little to no protection for HPV. You should not get the impression that condoms make sex safe.
How do you know if you're in love?
Four types of love have been defined. Almost everyone has experienced some type of love in his or her lifetime. Eros is the love of sex (lust) and material things. Agape is unconditional love. This is the type of love a husband would feel for a wife or vice-versa. Storge is love of family, wanting to keep them safe from harm. Phileo is the love for friends, wanting the best for your friends. A way to know which love you feel for different people is to think about your relationship with each person you have strong feelings for and see how that makes you feel. You can also talk to a trusted adult that knows you well enough to help you figure these things out. And remember, just because you are in love does not mean you should have sex because sex does not equal love nor love equal sex.
What are the "Red Flags" of teen dating violence?
If your boyfriend/girlfriend is:
- jealous and possessive toward you, he/she won't let you see or talk to friends and family, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
- embarrassing you with degrading names and insults?
  forcing you to have sex or forcing you to perform sexual acts you do not want to do?
- always "playfully" wrestling with you? Does he/she twist your arm behind your back and hurt you?
- saying that you provoke him/her, press his/her buttons, saying that you made him/her do it, or that you led him/her on?
- trying to control you, trying to be very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinion seriously?
- violent? Does he/she have a history of fighting, losing his/her temper quickly, or bragging about mistreating others?
What can I do if I or someone I know is in an unhealthy relationship?
If a friend is in a troubled relationship or situation, never agree to keep the problem a secret. Find an adult you can trust or call a teen hotline such as TEENLINE (1-800-522-TEEN).